Thinking Of You
by Crazy GleekPotterhead
Summary: A oneshot based on Katy Perry's Thinking Of You.Kurt-centric and a whole load of angst, but a tiny bit Kurtbastain because it makes sense with the song. But lots of fluffy Klaine moments. And don't worry, its ends sort of happily.


**Somehow, one evening I ended up watching Katy Perry's video Thinking Of You. I bought the song and this was born. It's based loosely on the video and song. Hope you like it!**

* * *

Sebastian wrapped his arms loosely around Kurt, promptly falling asleep. Kurt tried desperately to fall asleep so he could forget what he did. It wasn't anything Sebastian did, but, he just felt revolting whenever he did anything remotely sexual with him. It felt like he was betraying…

That would be impossible, he thought to himself. You can't really betray a dead man.

Even so he couldn't stop thinking about Blaine as he lay next to Sebastian. Would he be as demanding? Would he cuddle with Kurt like he used to after sex? Would we still smell the same? Giving up on sleep altogether, Kurt slipped out of Sebastian's grip, pulled his dressing gown back onto his shoulders and walked over to his desk. It was the usual routine. He opened the top drawer, and pulled out a photo. A younger version of himself and an alive version of Blaine smiled happily at him. He remembered that day perfectly. There was nothing amazingly special about it, but that's why it was so memorable.

* * *

"Please, Kurt, it's really nice today as well!" Blaine whined for the fourth time.

Kurt hid his smile carefully and began to fake annoyance. "Blaine, there is a reason I'm so pale. Do you realise how easily I burn in the sun? I don't tan, I burn!"

"I'd love you anyways, red splotches and all." Blaine said, linking their hands and pulling Kurt close, so he could place his hands on his back. "Please?"

"Okay, fine. Let's go." Kurt smiled and quickly kissed Blaine on the lips before running outside. They didn't live very far from the park, it took about 5 minutes walking, 2 if you were running like Blaine was. When they got there, it was empty so Blaine used the lack of five-year olds to become one.

"Come on, Kurtie, go on the swings with me!"

Kurt knew there was no point arguing or denying Blaine, because he would give in anyway. It was those damn eyes. They played on the swings for a while before Blaine spotted the jungle gym and insisted they play 'It'. Obviously, Kurt was 'it'. Kurt chased him around until Blaine started on the monkey bars. Kurt had always been good at them. Jumping quickly onto the other side, he began clambering towards Blaine. They ended up facing each other, still gripping on.

"Gotcha." Kurt said with a smile, kicking Blaine gently.

"Oh no, it's not over yet." In a split-second Blaine had jumped off and was running away. Kurt rolled his eyes at Blaine's child-likeness, but ran after him. Eventually, Kurt caught up with him and started breathing heavily while Blaine studied a tree.

"Blaine…these…skinny jeans…were…not…made...for…running!" Kurt puffed.

"Kurt, we should carve our initials into this tree, you know like in all of those old, romantic movies."

"That's terribly cliché, but that smile on your face tells me that you're going to do it anyways, so go on." Beaming, Blaine started carving with his pocket knife. Blaine finished quickly and proceeded to show Kurt.

"BA hearts KH for ever." He smiled and turned to Blaine. "I love it." Kurt leaned in and kissed Blaine lovingly. Soon the lovingness turned to hunger and passion and Blaine had to remind Kurt they were in a public place.

"But no one's here!" Kurt countered.

"Touché." Blaine said. "Okay, smile!" Blaine quickly snapped a photo and waited for it to come out the front.

"Urrgh, that's horrible, get rid of it." Kurt said.

"No, I like it, you look great." Blaine put the photo in his pocket before linking arms with him again as they began to walk back from the park.

* * *

A single tear dropped onto the desk. Even after so long, it still hurt him. A sleepy Sebastian looked up at him. "Hey baby, come back to bed." Quickly blinking the tears away, he reluctantly returned to Sebastian. He pulled Kurt closer to him and pushed the gown off his shoulders. He sat up and began placing small kisses along Kurt's jaw, neck and collarbone, before capturing his lips in a forceful kiss, immediately clashing his tongue with Kurt's. All Kurt could taste on Sebastian's tongue was Blaine. His favourite coffee (a medium drip), strawberries and always the slightest hint of mint toothpaste. Sebastian pulled Kurt on top of him, pressing against him. Here it comes again, Kurt thought. That disgusting feeling.

Sebastian started to kiss Kurt's chest, before he gently pried him off.

"You have to go to work, Seb." Kurt said. Sebastian sighed, but sat up and started getting ready. Even though it was a weekend, Sebastian still had to work. "Bye babe." Sebastian called to Kurt before walking out of the door.

Kurt walked around to the back of the house, the dusty sand blowing gently in the breeze. He leaned against the side of the wall with his arms folded. He remembered the same taste of dust in his mouth from a while ago. Back when he was with Blaine.

* * *

"Should we go bike-riding today?" Kurt asked Blaine. It was one of those dusty summer days where doing something stupid could be blamed on the heat.

"How about we go swimming in that little lake which has the bridge over it? We can bike-ride there if you want." Blaine said smiling.

"Or, we could do this all day." Kurt said leaning forward to catch Blaine's lips in a kiss, gently probing Blaine's mouth open with his tongue. Blaine moaned quietly, before placing two hands gently on Kurt's face pulling him closer to him before breaking away, trying to ignore the whine Kurt emitted afterwards.

"It's too hot to be doing that, let's just go, the longer we wait, the hotter it's going to get." Blaine pointed out.

"Mmm, okay, let's go."

* * *

"Oh my gosh, Blaine, don't go so fast!" Kurt squealed. The sped along, Blaine riding the bike and Kurt balancing on the handlebars. It was a lot harder than it looked.

"Just hold onto my hands." Blaine said. Kurt did this and it helped him balance a bit better.

"Ohh, it so hot." Kurt moaned, throwing his head back, so his hair lightly brushed Blaine's face.

"I've got a pretty good sun barrier here so I'm good." Blaine teased.

"Oh, are you I'm fat?" Kurt shot back.

"No, I'm just saying, your skin like, soaks up the sun. Good thing too, I think you'd look hot with a tan." Blaine said, brushing his thumbs over Kurt's hands.

"Haha, yeah, for me to tan I'd need to go to a volcano. On the sun."

"Do they even have volcanoes on the sun?" Blaine asked.

"Oh you know what I mean!" Kurt said, flapping his hand behind him, trying to hit Blaine, but unbalancing himself in the process.

"Woah, hold on, we wouldn't want your pretty face to end up in the sand would we?"

"Oh, trust me, if I fall, your falling with me!" Kurt promised.

Once reaching their destination, Kurt hopped off and took out the deflated beach rings from the basket on the back of Blaine's bike.

"I love it here." Kurt said, twirling a few times in the sun.

When he turned back, Blaine was already stripped of his t-shirt and was shaking off his shoes.

"I'll start blowing up the rings." Blaine said.

"Aww, too bad, I was hoping you'd blow something else, oh well." Kurt said cheekily, before taking off his shirt and shoes as well.

"Maybe later," Blaine winked. "But now, I want to swim."

"Okay." Kurt replied before giving Blaine a small shove, enough to make him lose his balance and topple off the bank into the lake. "Have fun swimming."

"Haha very funny, now come on help me back up." Blaine said, reaching his hands out to Kurt's.

When Kurt thought about this in hindsight, he probably shouldn't have taken his hand.

Latching into Kurt's hand, Blaine pulled him sharply into the water beside him.

"Blaine!" Kurt screamed when he resurfaced.

"What, sweetheart?" Blaine asked, faking complete innocence.

"You are so lucky I love you."

"Yeah I know."

Blaine moved the wet hair that had covered Kurt's face away, before pulling him close and connecting their lips. Kurt sighed into the kiss before threading his hands into Blaine's wet curls, deepening the kiss simultaneously.

_Ahhh, now this is the good life, _Kurt thought. Back then he didn't realise how short it would be.

* * *

The tears were flowing freely now. Kurt ran back inside of the house, collapsing on the sofa. Days weren't always this bad, but sometimes it just seemed like the whole universe wanted to remind him of what he'd lost. Kurt took a huge deep breath and wiped away the tears. Looking up, he saw a picture of him and Sebastian, the one that he had hung on the wall. Their embrace looked fake and unrealistic. He didn't want to be with Sebastian, he really didn't. But seeing as his first and only choice was dead, he didn't really have another one. He promised Blaine he would try though.

* * *

It was the morning before Blaine was set to leave. Kurt had wanted to drive him but Blaine said it would just make everything harder. Kurt knew he was right but it didn't make this goodbye any easier.

"I don't want you to go." Kurt said to Blaine, hands on either side of his face.

"I don't want to go. But I have to." Blaine said. "Before I leave I wanted to give you this." Blaine reached into his pocket and pulled a slightly crumpled up photo. "It's from that day at the park when we carved our initials into the tree. KH..."

"I remember," Kurt cut off. "How could I forget. Thank you." He took the photo from Blaine and put in his pocket.

"Kurt, promise me something."

"Anything, anything at all." Kurt replied.

"Promise me that...that it I don't come back, move on. Don't stay hung up on me and forget to live becaue I couldn't handle the feeling of knowing I'd caused you to do that."

"No, no, I can't and I won't." Kurt said immediately. "I can't believe your asking me this!"

"Not straight away, but find someone else."

"Blaine." Kurt whispered, his voice breaking on the vowel. "Don't talk like that. You are coming back. You ARE coming back."

"Kurt be realistic, I..."

"No! I love you, and do you know what the idea of losing you does to me? It...it hurts Blaine! I can't imagine a future without you, let alone another man! And I don't want to! I only want you!" Tears were leaking from Kurt's eyes and he sank down on the couch and began silently sobbing. Feeling his heart break a little, Blaine went over to cuddle him and whispered in his ear,

"None of this means I love you any less. I just...I want everything for you Kurt, I don't want you to shut yourself off from the world." Blaine gently ran his fingers through Kurt's hair repeatedly as he spoke. "Kurt please," Blaine tried again. "Just promise me you will."

"Fine." Kurt agreed sadly, before sitting up and saying, "But that doesn't mean I will love any of them. Not like I love you."

"I'd hope not." Blaine answered before bringing their lips together. While the kiss wasn't chaste, it wasn't like the lust and longing-driven ones they had shared before, it was full of passion, love, and the goodbye they didn't want to say to each other. Eventually, they pulled apart, tears on the brim of Blaine's eyes.

"I love you." Blaine said

"I love you forever." Kurt's replies tearfully.

Blaine gave Kurt one last kiss, before standing up and taking his bag, leaving Kurt to watch his silhouette as he left.

* * *

As a fresh wave of tears hit and Kurt realised all the memories were doing we're giving him false hope hat Blaine might come back one day. He needed a jolt back to reality. Kurt had a solution to days like this one. It worked in the short-term, but after a few months, the hope would return again. Kurt walked back into his room and looked at the photo he's left out for this morning. Putting it back in his memory box (something he probably shouldn't have kept) and pulled an envelope out. His hands shook, but he knew he needed to see it in black and white. Slowly, Kurt pulled the paper out and unfolded it. He's read it so many times, he knew it by best. But it only took 3 words to break him.

Killed In Action

Killed In Action

Killed In Action

Kurt let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding and closed his eyes. He remembered the very last thing Blaine said to him.

"I love you."

Kurt could hear him now. Saying those words over and over. Tears pushed at his eyes, longing to get out. Hearing a knock at the door, Kurt quickly out the letter back and walked out to the hallway, before opening the door.

A man turned around to look at him. The unruly black curls on this man's head were caked with mud. His face was covered in dirt, cuts and bruises.

But nothing stopped the bright, vibrant, hazel eyes from glowing.

Kurt blinked, wondering if he was dreaming.

"Blaine?" he whispered, afraid if he said it any louder, he might disappear and prove to just be an apparition of his over-active imagination.

"Kurt. I've missed you so much."

* * *

**And room for speculation! I know that the video is supposed to be really sad, but i can't help a kind of happy Klaine ending.**


End file.
